I feel such the burdens lift from my shoulder. But the future remains unclear and a foretells of black cloud ahead. “Will MLTA succeed?” I kept repeating the same question over and over. The grand meeting is over. Everything is going on well except for the late preparation! Blame it on the facilities management of Campus Office. They make it so damn and have no idea at all. Not alert! Then the Power Point projection is making a big trouble. First, the laptop cannot support that projector. Then the document inside the MC’s laptop cannot be access because of password protected which is another curse. The speech stand is not in the request so we have to carry it a long way from G01 to Hall H. The lecturers and Dean already arrive and we still cannot settle the presentation preparation. What a shame on my face. Then my vice president keep on complaining me that I presenting the opening speech too fast and why don’t I presenting the organizational chart. It makes me feel like I’m the one to be blame for all the messes happen. The attendance not so good, I’m expecting at least half of the DMLT students will come but not even a quarter did.
I have to do another meeting to welcome the new committee. Discuss about the activity which is Logo Design Contest. Then have to discuss about the preparation for Dusun Eco Tourism Camping. Well! Still seems as normal but wait till’ you heard what just come into my mind now… an Evil thought.
Suddenly I remembered my past mission before I can go this far. I have decided before to resign after the Grand Meeting over. It’s coming back to me now and keeps claiming for it. I reassess my self for it. Am I going to quit now. With all the hope given by our dearest Diploma Studies Dean, making me so baffles with such decision . She gave me such a big expectation and hope. Then the old face intrudes to my thought. My father’s face, my mum, my friends and those around me who expect the very good of me.
“You have to prove yourself! Show them your hidden talent and leadership qualities!” that was the words of my father, the one that keeps me well-motivated till now to carry on.
God knew how bad I want to resign from being the president of MLTA. I’m sick of being busy and unable to equalize my time between study and this crap thing. Now the Committee of Activity already formed and I rely on them to further with the activity. I want to be as free as possible without thinking of any burden that will spoilt my mood and my entire academic life. For the mid semester examination, I got 5 As (meaning pure A) which is Microbiology I, Parasitology I, Haematology Diagnostic I, Anatomy & Phisiology and Clinical Biochemistry I. My parents is the most happy person on earth to know it. But as for me, this achievement brings nothing to me but another burden and endless expectation. Peoples aims high for you and look forward for another hit from you. What if I fail? What if I don’t live to their expectation? Will they look down at me? Turn their face off me? Walk away and isolated me? and labeled me with a hurting words such ‘Overly confide freak’? Will they! Will they be someone else that take over my place? Now I feel insecure. I don’t want anybody else achieve greater than me. I am paranoid now!
What a dull life it’s been with no such entertainment. Even if there is some entertainment, it never feed my soul. I want to see what is the outside world can offer me. Trapped in the boring and die area of Shah Alam violate my human nature. I deserve something better than this. Didn’t I? I give my best to other and why can it be reciprocal. I’m defy my teenage years crave with such burden for better future as they always said. Crap to all the material that they claim can make you happy. Can ‘it’ claims back my past life? My past years? My past age? I can’t see any other mission of life apart of chasing for wealth, money, name, acknowledgement and such… such….
Everything is about money! They live in the “No money no talk!” life. Guess I have to live like that too. No exception!!!
This week "Top Ten Ways People Appears On Newspaper!”
#10 Gosh! I live in the place far from the Tsunami disaster but I effected in it too. Since everybody related to Tsunami is popular, Why couldn’t I?
#9 My fiancé dumped me on my wedding day. Since he is a football player, I want to be popular! Maybe after this I can get an offer to act in local movie about my deprived life.
#8 I got a Langsuir hair. Wanna buy? Call me!
#7 My husband got killed by road bully. Now I got a key for new house and monthly allowance. If only I know about it earlier, I knock his head myself.
#6 My husband is a woman!
#5 Did you see my baby? Anyone?
#4 I got attack by unseen strangers and got injected by unknown chemical. Am I crazy?
#3 Wacko Jacko! A Paedophiliac!
#2 Got an affair with my own assistant, my anorexic wife’s beauty therapist and unknown Rebecca Loos. Guess I am so scandalous!
#1 Trump having a third marriage! The newlywed stars Nick and Jessica divorced! Brad and Jennifer ON and OFF.
No comments:
Post a Comment