It’s totally boring here when I’m writing this fourth journal. It’s 12:06 a.m. and I am not in mood of study. Gosh why do I have to suffer something the hard way? Never a mild boring, never a mild pain, never a mild… always the hard one. The supreme. The superior. The bizarre. The extreme. Yeah! Sigh!
Let see! What happened in the last few days? Emm… it’s just so typical days! Ordinary! Plain! Oh yes! I got something!! I just knew that my best friend have flown to Australia to further his study there. He finished the engineering course at the local private college so-called INTI College. He took 2+1. Two years locally, and a year abroad. He probably was sleeping there (wonder is there any vast different of time). Maybe he is crying now think about his family and his dear friends. Suit him! I am so pissed off he never told me about leaving for Australia. Feel like throwing a boomerang to him (then it gets back to me finally! Duh!).
I’ve sense a huge barrier now! Between my present and my past. My old and my new. I’m losing grip of my past like it just flowing and leave me with nothing to be proud of. It’s the memory thing again. Feels like a huge black rock on my head. Blurry and sickening me. God I hate is so much. I hate not to remember people’s face. I hate to forget people’s name. Hatred to my own self and my irritating memory problem. It just left me embarrassed to be approach by someone you used to know but you feel like totally stranger. It’s embarrassing to hit your head assuming some memory will be back to its right place. But to no avail.
Sometimes I feel like I better be dead! But it will be boring then! Totally motionless. What keeps me strong is my optimistic-yet-failing mind. Try to perceive the bright side of every tragedy. Just like what happened last Friday…
I was attending the Mentor Mentee Gathering for School of Diploma Studies. It’s not by mean that I want it but I have to. It all because I’m receiving the letter of appreciation for being in the president list. Once again it’s not the matter that I don’t like it but it just so irritating when people praising you for something that you suppose to achieve. Being in the large crowd never better than to spend my time alone chilling to Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway.
When the prize giving ceremony ended finally, there is another gathering for the reason of unknown. So, as announced for DMLT students to stay around, I just did it inauspiciously only to note about an establishment of DMLT Association. I find it not so bad judging by its mission to encourage for academic activity rather than time-wasting-entertainment-oriented activities such PTPL Idol, Miss Congeniality, concert and another concert and another concert and etceteras.
It isn’t so bad until the catastrophe happened to me. I was nominated with another four nominees for the high-committee. I am passively happy cause’ I’m so sure I will never got elected for any position. But to no avail. I was elected for the highest position… PRESIDENT. I can’t tell you how ‘flattered’ I am. Soooo flattery pissed off! Automatically I have to take over the ceremony to elect the subcommittee.
There you go, another big rock I have to carry along for a long time. Ahaa (synically) it’s I’ve never been more happier than that.. Only God knows how I wanted to quit my position as president of the pre-establish association. Writing about it enough to make me stop….
Let see! What happened in the last few days? Emm… it’s just so typical days! Ordinary! Plain! Oh yes! I got something!! I just knew that my best friend have flown to Australia to further his study there. He finished the engineering course at the local private college so-called INTI College. He took 2+1. Two years locally, and a year abroad. He probably was sleeping there (wonder is there any vast different of time). Maybe he is crying now think about his family and his dear friends. Suit him! I am so pissed off he never told me about leaving for Australia. Feel like throwing a boomerang to him (then it gets back to me finally! Duh!).
I’ve sense a huge barrier now! Between my present and my past. My old and my new. I’m losing grip of my past like it just flowing and leave me with nothing to be proud of. It’s the memory thing again. Feels like a huge black rock on my head. Blurry and sickening me. God I hate is so much. I hate not to remember people’s face. I hate to forget people’s name. Hatred to my own self and my irritating memory problem. It just left me embarrassed to be approach by someone you used to know but you feel like totally stranger. It’s embarrassing to hit your head assuming some memory will be back to its right place. But to no avail.
Sometimes I feel like I better be dead! But it will be boring then! Totally motionless. What keeps me strong is my optimistic-yet-failing mind. Try to perceive the bright side of every tragedy. Just like what happened last Friday…
I was attending the Mentor Mentee Gathering for School of Diploma Studies. It’s not by mean that I want it but I have to. It all because I’m receiving the letter of appreciation for being in the president list. Once again it’s not the matter that I don’t like it but it just so irritating when people praising you for something that you suppose to achieve. Being in the large crowd never better than to spend my time alone chilling to Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway.
When the prize giving ceremony ended finally, there is another gathering for the reason of unknown. So, as announced for DMLT students to stay around, I just did it inauspiciously only to note about an establishment of DMLT Association. I find it not so bad judging by its mission to encourage for academic activity rather than time-wasting-entertainment-oriented activities such PTPL Idol, Miss Congeniality, concert and another concert and another concert and etceteras.
It isn’t so bad until the catastrophe happened to me. I was nominated with another four nominees for the high-committee. I am passively happy cause’ I’m so sure I will never got elected for any position. But to no avail. I was elected for the highest position… PRESIDENT. I can’t tell you how ‘flattered’ I am. Soooo flattery pissed off! Automatically I have to take over the ceremony to elect the subcommittee.
There you go, another big rock I have to carry along for a long time. Ahaa (synically) it’s I’ve never been more happier than that.. Only God knows how I wanted to quit my position as president of the pre-establish association. Writing about it enough to make me stop….
No comments:
Post a Comment