This week, lots of things happened. It is soothing to watch someone admitted to ward for a simple sleep study. But getting to know those who are in their worst shape, broke our heart piece by piece.
There is a guy who got admitted for bronchiectasis. There’s not much medicine can do to him, he’s waiting for lung transplant. Given that Malaysian isn’t too keen to donate their organs; his chance are close to zero. The last lung transplant ever succeeded was two years ago. And then there was a girl who is dead of sepsis after heart lung transplant. It’s pretty much a guillotine has been dropped on him. All the doctors can do is managing his symptom, give him antibiotic put him on oxygen while he grows frail and unsure of his future. He is just 30 year old. He didn’t know his fate yet.
There is a guy who blamed the system for his current condition. How he ended from a simple SOB to bedridden. He is the first patient I clerked. I remember his word of wisdom “Pakcik bukan apa, minta maaf pakcik cakap. Sebagai doktor, janganlah aniaya orang tua macam pakcik,” at that time I was so sure that the system broke him. But the ethic of medicine prevents me from pointing out other doctor’s fault until it was proven. I nodded and I clerked. Last night I found out that he is chronic user of steroids for years and that is the reason why he was susceptible to infection. And he is possibly RVD positive. The truth revealing the secret behind; the system aren’t as cruel as our revenging past mistakes. He didn’t know that yet, but we are pretty sure his prognosis.
There is an old man that I first met in outpatient clinic. Now he got admitted. He had a lung cancer, a prize he won for his 50 years of smoking. He learned that just days ago and I overheard him saying “Saya banyak gembira kalau saya mati,”. There’s part of me agreeing with that notion, he’s been living for 8 decades. His life is on loan. Maybe it’s better for him to find a perpetual release from this world. He has been a good man, father and husband. Just a tobacco addict. But being a student of medicine, we are in constant battle with death, admitting to one will ruin our ego. Preserving life is what made us choose this. Our aim is to maintain others’ health in higher quality even not as much as quantity.
There’s a women with devoted husband.
There’s a husband with secret sexcapade.
There’s a man with devoted wife with chest tube dangling. They hugged and laugh everyday.
These are people that appreciate a little glimpse of you everyday. They smile through their pain expecting us to bring them relief. But all we got is questions and lots of it. On how they become the way there are now. Helping them realizing their mistakes and punish themselves in their own way. Making them sicker and refuse to live till they succumbed in one unlucky day. ]
Human are highly complex being. Morbid human is the most.
There is a guy who got admitted for bronchiectasis. There’s not much medicine can do to him, he’s waiting for lung transplant. Given that Malaysian isn’t too keen to donate their organs; his chance are close to zero. The last lung transplant ever succeeded was two years ago. And then there was a girl who is dead of sepsis after heart lung transplant. It’s pretty much a guillotine has been dropped on him. All the doctors can do is managing his symptom, give him antibiotic put him on oxygen while he grows frail and unsure of his future. He is just 30 year old. He didn’t know his fate yet.
There is a guy who blamed the system for his current condition. How he ended from a simple SOB to bedridden. He is the first patient I clerked. I remember his word of wisdom “Pakcik bukan apa, minta maaf pakcik cakap. Sebagai doktor, janganlah aniaya orang tua macam pakcik,” at that time I was so sure that the system broke him. But the ethic of medicine prevents me from pointing out other doctor’s fault until it was proven. I nodded and I clerked. Last night I found out that he is chronic user of steroids for years and that is the reason why he was susceptible to infection. And he is possibly RVD positive. The truth revealing the secret behind; the system aren’t as cruel as our revenging past mistakes. He didn’t know that yet, but we are pretty sure his prognosis.
There is an old man that I first met in outpatient clinic. Now he got admitted. He had a lung cancer, a prize he won for his 50 years of smoking. He learned that just days ago and I overheard him saying “Saya banyak gembira kalau saya mati,”. There’s part of me agreeing with that notion, he’s been living for 8 decades. His life is on loan. Maybe it’s better for him to find a perpetual release from this world. He has been a good man, father and husband. Just a tobacco addict. But being a student of medicine, we are in constant battle with death, admitting to one will ruin our ego. Preserving life is what made us choose this. Our aim is to maintain others’ health in higher quality even not as much as quantity.
There’s a women with devoted husband.
There’s a husband with secret sexcapade.
There’s a man with devoted wife with chest tube dangling. They hugged and laugh everyday.
These are people that appreciate a little glimpse of you everyday. They smile through their pain expecting us to bring them relief. But all we got is questions and lots of it. On how they become the way there are now. Helping them realizing their mistakes and punish themselves in their own way. Making them sicker and refuse to live till they succumbed in one unlucky day. ]
Human are highly complex being. Morbid human is the most.
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