Tuesday, June 14, 2011

MEDICAL SCHOOL NERD SCALE



The following scale has been developed and designed to test if you have spent too much time in medical school and whether you are having adverse side effects due to prolonged exposure.

Score ONE (1) point for each statement that applies to you.


1 You have ever said “Netter is God”.

2 You can discuss autopsy/ anatomy over a meal

3 You own a 4 color pen

4 -it just isn’t enough colors for you

5 You use more than one color to take notes

6 You have use up more than 6 highlighters in the past 6 months

7 you have ever highlighted something YOU wrote

8 you retype handouts given in class

9 you haven’t had a date in 3 months

10 you haven’t had a date since entering med school

11 you have not been able to remember the normal term for something because you were thinking of the medical term (i.e. reflux for heartburn)

12 You get more sleep in lecture than at home

13 You know the correct spelling for pruritus

14 – you also know what it means

15 You have ever asked a question in class

16 – The prof. didn’t understand the question

17 – you didn’t believe the answer the prof. gave

18 – you went to look it up to see if they were right

19 You can’t hold a conversation on anything other than med school

20 You skip class to study

21 You’ve said you didn’t do well on a test on which you beat the mean

22 You spend more than 15 hrs a week on e-mail

23 You have a callous on you finger from writing

24 More than one professor knows you by name

25 When you ask a question, a new professor has said “Oh, I’ve heard of you”

26 You can name more amino acids than past presidents

27 You use more than 5 acronyms an hour when talking

28 you actually know what PERRLA stands for

29 You know all the steps of the TCA cycle

30 You do not read PTA as parent teachers association

31 You can remember the muscles in the forearm

32 You know the strucures in the urea cycle

33 You know the dermatome distribution

34 You can’t remember what you had for breakfast

35 You can’t spell world, much less backwards

36 You’ve ever been sexually aroused by the breast shadow on an X-ray

37 You equate “morning stiffness” with Rhematoid Artheritis

38 You actually know normal values for plasma Na

39 -K

40 Missing class causes you extreme stress

41 You have seriously asked someone “So how does that make you feel?”

42 You have asked will this be on the exam

43 -Just after the Prof. said it wouldn’t

44 You identify with Deb on E.R. series

45 You have made a medical joke

46 -no one laughed

47 -You figure they just weren’t that far in their studying

48 You wear your stethescope around your neck on the bus

49 – you don’t even know which way the thing goes in your ears

50 “SOB” means short of breath to you

51 You have gone to student health with suspicion of a disease you have studied

52 -within 3 days of the lecture

53 You have answered a question in class

54 -asked by the professor

55 -it was a rhetorical question

56 You can quote lines from the movie “Malice”

57 -you believe them

58 You can flip your pen over your thumb

59 – with both hands

60 – you do so throughout class

61 You have corrected a professor in class

62 -the rest of the class didn’t understand the lecture to begin with

63 You know how to claculate specificity

64 -positive predictive value

65 – anion gap

66 -you can’t balance your checkbook

67 You don’t know what the weather was like for the past week

68 You don’t know what the weather is like right now

69 You actually talk in open ended questions

70 DIC isn’t a slang term for the penis in your book

71 You think B- is a bad grade

72 you have stressed about a pass/fail class

73 You study during most of your meals

74 You saw nothing abnormal about the Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

75 You draw all of the slides not already provided in the handouts

76 -including the cartoons (humourous type)

77 Anatomy makes you hungry

78 You would even consider saying “Ease back on my finger at your own pace”

79 You know the size of a RBC

80 – you don’t know the size of a football field

81 Your eyesight has worsened by 10 pts or more in the last year

82 You have the library hours memorized

83 Hou have your own seat in the library

84 You score more than 95 on the Epidemiology final

85 You own more than one white coat

86 You have debated between giving up sleep or eating in order to find more time to study

87 You started studying for boards more than 2 months in advance

88 You have never received a personal invitation to discuss your grades with the dean

89 A tie is the only addition necessary to what you normally wear when you go to see patients

90 You wear scrubs to tests

91 You have made plans to study on a beach during vacation

92 – you actually did

93 You have a designated seat in lecture

94 – You have ever asked someone to move from “your seat”

95 You sleep less than 4 hrs a night

96 -you think that is plenty

97 -you have thought about cutting back

98 You study more than 35 hrs outsid of class

99 -you think you are a slackard

100 You think everyone answers yes to most of these questions




SCALE RESULTS

<20 – You’re not in Med school. Go back to your party and leave us alone. We have work to do.

20-35 Either Med school is a breeze or you like the sound of “Senor doctor”

35-45 Gotta love that Primary Care

45-60 Well, I never really thought about MD/Phd, but now that you mention it…

60-75 Your social life is shot, might as well try to earn lots of money

75-90 Which surgery subspecialty did you say you liked?

90 All hail, great Med School Nerd master.



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