I’ve learned from the past few months or in the half of this year, I have developed some kind of self-defend for myself which is nothing to do with any physical contact or martial art kind of stuff. I’ve learned to build the psychological barrier that making myself invisible from any critics posted by others regarding my behaviour, physical appearance or else.
I hate being criticized by others (which I believe anyone does) and it’s kind of painful and bothersome when someone point out your mistake. It has something to do with the ego inside me. I’ve learned to cope with it so many times with the help from my father, a psychologist that progressively gain recognition. Still, the defiance and avoidance interrupted the outcomes. As the result, I make the false psychological reconciliation by pretending that I am fully recovered from such symptoms.
How can I overpower my father? Maybe a lot of people who read this journal (hope so) will question. Actually I secretly learned a bit of psychology such abnormal psychology and therapies and unconsciously developed an active immune towards any effort to convert me back to my normal-natural-innocence state.
I have a hard time to control it. Have you experience talking something out of control then you regret it later on? That kind of uncontrollable act is happened to me. But to the different, I like it and never regret it! Everything I said even if it hurt others, to no harm, it’s sincerely what I feeling about. I have never learned to be hypocrite and I hate to pretend to like someone even if I don’t. I just say it straight and as a people says “No corner-corner! Straight to the point!”
Just now, I had a terrible cold fight with my friend via sms. She is my best ever girlfriend (no special). The reason is sometimes I cannot distinguish something considered as joke or serious matter. I over interpret her means making me furiously hurting her. But to no worry, I’ve been forgiven and it’s nothing sweet like it. End of that issue and back to the main point.
Regarding this week journal title, Narcissistic is a phrase derived from the word Narcissus. Narcissus is (if I am not mistaken) a Greece God (I confuse it with a fact of he is one of the Greece man) who is over-appreciating himself. He adored and falling in love with himself. He always sat by the lake (nakedly, as all the Greece God did) and watched his reflection on the crystal clear lake water. He can spend the whole day doing his self-praising session without even blinking (wonder if Greece God blink?). Closely by the place he sat, is a bunch of purple flower tree that blooms beautifully. The flower was named after that psychotic Greece God, Narcissus; and still available now.
Judging by that story, Narcissistic is actually an abnormal psychology regarding of people who overwhelmed with their self just like me (except for the naked issue, okay!). I love praising myself which irritates others (which I don’t give a damn for). The time when the ‘ego wall’ most obviously seen is when I decline others’ suggestion for me to stop praising myself cause they find it so disturbing (regarding their low self-esteem). What I do is talking back saying that they just have to admit ‘it’ (what I praise myself about) than I stop. I always win their insincere credit.
In the other hand, some people thought that what I did is good for raising my self-esteem and confidence, so they don’t mind hearing me saying “I’m good!”, “I look great!” or “I’m so cute!” Some might find me talking to the mirror admiring myself. Even I am afraid with myself doing exactly what Narcissus did but I can’t help it. It just happened uncontrollably. I just have to accept it. I realize instead of complaining about my psychological state, I just have to se laisser vivre (take life as it comes).
Cela ne vaut rien (that’s no good) to self-praising yourself! Do you think it’s true?
This week top ten is about ‘The Top Ten Tricks to Handle Your Irritating Housemate’
CAUTION: This techniques are posted for the entertainment mean only. The author will not be liable to every technique practice in a real situation.
#10 They ask you to borrow them money? ASKED THEM TO LEND YOU FIRST. Then, you lend them the money they lend you.
#9 They like to making a mess in your house? THROW THEIR BELONGING OUT OF THE HOUSE. If they ask you why do you did that? Says “This house is so messy that I can’t differentiate which one is rubbish!”
#8 They prefer to knock the door instead of bringing their own keys? LOCK THE DOOR AND MAKE THEM WAIT BEFORE YOU OPEN IT. Pretend that you don’t hear the knocking.
#7 They are too noisy while you are studying? HIT THEM RIGHT AT THE GROIN, they’ll love the sensation that they cannot speak to tell.
#6 They like to use your belonging without prior notice? MAKE THEMS’ YOUR BELONGING. They don’t have to ask to use it cause’ it is so not yours.
#5 They making a mess in the kitchen? SAVE THEM A ROACH AND PUT IT IN THEIR BELONGING. They’ll repel to death.
#4 They hate to flush every time they use the bathroom? SAVE THEM YOUR 1 WEEK IN VIVO SAVES STOOL. They will traumatized to even seeing the bathroom’s door.
#3 They put their clothes all around the house? SPRAY THE SKIN IRRITANT INSECTICIDE ONTO THEIR CLOTH. They’ll learn why they shouldn’t mess it at the first place.
#2 They like to eat your food? PUT A SPOILT FOOD IN YOUR USUAL FOOD CONTAINER. They will realize the importance of asking?
#1 They are just to wicked and cunning they survive all the tricks. NAPHTALENE! It always work!
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